Have you ever sat back and looked around at people in the ministry (pastors, teachers, preachers, etc.) who have given up on ministry completely and think to yourself; "How can someone in their position just give up and walk away like that?" I think we have all thought it a time or two. People tend to put these types of people on pedestals and put EXTREMELY high standards on them. The truth is this, people with these titles are probably the people who somewhat find it the easiest to walk away at times. Why do I say this? Because I have seen first hand how hard life in the ministry can be. Being a pastor's wife and seeing my husband struggle with other people's struggles, people's criticisim of him (or me at times) for the way he/I may do things, and complaints about totally irrelevant matters are just a few things he has had to deal with. Now, I do realize that this is just not him that faces these types of things, in fact every single pastor/preacher/teacher/leader has at one point or another faced some (if not all) of those situations I listed above.
One of the hardest parts of being a pastor or the wife of the pastor is the fact that we tend to be given the highest of highest standards. How in the world are we supposed to live up to the standards placed on us? There is NO POSSIBLE way we could EVER do that. I think people tend to forget that we are just humans. HUMAN. We fall just like you fall, we forget just like you forget, we have a life OUTSIDE of the ministry (SHOCKER!!!), we have families just like you have families. What I'm trying to say is that if you have bad days, good days, forgetful days, or whatever the case may be then remember that your pastor has those same exact kind of days. He isn't perfect, his family isn't perfect and they never will be. His bad days may fall on your good days, his forgetfulness he can't help because he is already on schedule overload with all kinds of other things going on.....all while trying to lead and maintain his own household. If you call in the middle of the night he comes, and leaves his family behind, if you call while he's out and about with his family, he will drop what he's doing and be there. There are times when he just can't be there, but even during those times his praying NEVER EVER stops for you or your situation.
However, there is one thing you should never consider your pastor to be and that is lazy or selfish. You have no idea what goes on inside his mind, inside his home and not to mention the duties of pastor piled on top of all of that. Laziness or selfishness should never be considered as part of his problem. After all, the Bible only lists one job to someone who is in that position and that job is to feed his flock (preach to them), and if he is doing that then he is doing what he is supposed to. He doesn't answer to people, he answers to God and well, what God tells him to do is WAY more important than what any person on the face of the earth could tell him or suggest for him to do. In the end God is the final judge and he will answer to him not anyone here.
Secondly, the stress that weighs down on the pastor becomes stress that weighs down on his wife, and the stress on his wife becomes stress she releases on to her family (children, friends and so on) because everything keeps building and building and building. You say, "Well, the pastor's wife doesn't need to know anything that goes on anyway." I say to you, then who in the world is the pastor supposed to release his frustration or struggles out on? Yes, he can pray about them and seek God's help and I can guarantee you that he does do just that. However, just like you he also needs to just vent sometimes. He doesn't always have to vent for his wife to know something is wrong with him either. If you have been married for any length of time you know when something is wrong with your spouse, without even asking them what is wrong you can tell by their demeanor that something is bothering them. They don't have to tell you what's wrong for you to be concerned about them either, just the simple fact that you know something is weighing heavily on your spouse's heart and mind makes you worry for them. The same holds true for pastor's and their wives. The burdens that he carries falls down to his family also. His family is pushed aside for the needs of the church and the people in it and I think that is one thing people tend to take for granted and not even realize it.
So, the question remains: why is it so easy for people in the ministry to give up and walk away? Well, here are some reasons why I feel as though it is easy for people in the ministry to "throw in the towel" so to speak. When people in these positions face so much backlash for their opinion on something, and things that constantly plague them build and build and build and they feel they have no one to talk to then they start to feel invaluable to their congregations, and as though nothing they say sinks in to anyone, when their family at home starts to fall apart (because they are gone or on call at all times of the night/day), throwing in the towel just seems to be the better option and sometimes we let the devil defeat us. Does that make it the right decision to give up ministry when this happens or when we face adversity (whether constant or occasionally)? Absolutely not. God did not call us to give up or quit. Yes, the struggles are real, yes, people can be absolutely downright mean and selfish, yes, our feelings get hurt (AND OFTEN). However, that still does not give us reason to give up. Jesus faced adversity wherever he went. We need to keep on keeping on! It will all be worth it in the end! We are ALL human, from the man on the very back pew, to the man that stands behind the pulpit and the man that plays in the church band. We ALL have feelings, we all have flaws, we all have capabilities to do what God wants us to do. People tend to forget that we do have feelings too and just letting things fly out of their mouth thinking we're made out of stone is not a very good idea!
Now, I will say that above all of the things I have listed here the good days do outweigh the bad. The people that are genuinely grateful for what you have done or how you may have helped them are worth it all. The fact that no matter if there wasn't but one person who was saved, or one person you helped along the way, or one person that you lifted up, just that one person was worth it and knowing that you are doing what GOD wants YOU to do. There are people who lift up these men/women in ministry and help carry their burdens and for them people I am eternally grateful, because without people like you then people in the ministry may very well "throw in the towel" and be done for good. I encourage each and every one of you to be one of those people, and don't forget that we, too, are human! Also, don't put your trust in man for he will surely let you down. Put your trust in God, he's the one that can ALWAYS be there for you even when these people of God cannot.
No comments:
Post a Comment